***Disclaimer - I do not care if you breastfeed, pump & bottle feed, formula feed, gave natural birth, gladly accepted the needle-in-the-back, begged your doc for a c-section, cloth diaper, use sposies, etc. I do not believe that I am better than anyone else for choosing the paths that I've taken. I AM; however, an advocate for women & families choosing to make educuated decisions that fit their lifestyles the best. Whatever is best for you will be best for your baby and that is the ultimate goal = HAPPY FAMILIES!
So...moving on...
I was breastfeeding Autumn tonight before bed and I began to think about how wonderfully lucky I am that our breastfeeding journey has gone so well. Have I mentioned this before? I know I have! And it's not bragging - it's me NOT taking for granted just how lucky we are. Because there are women who struggle. I've read their posts. I've talked to them in person. I've seen it first hand sitting right next to my best friend. If you were to sak me if breastfeeding was easy, my answer would be ABSOLUTELY NOT. Not because my experience has been hard, but because it can be hard and no matter what, it takes a lot of time and effort regardless of if you have problems.
Sometimes I feel guilt for having no troubles. Tonight I pondered this thought. Why did/do I not have problems? Really...why? The main problems I hear about are usually latching, supply, and thrush. I didn't have any of these. Why, why, why? And then the thought of my natural birth came into my head. Did that have anything to do with it?
I'm not a researcher. I'm not a doctor. And I've hardly talked to enough women to find out. But it's a question that makes me curious. Perhaps they've already done this research (and if there is a study out there about this...please send it to me...I'm very curious). But if they haven't done this study, wouldn't it be nice to know if a natural birth vs. birth that called for medications had anything to do with it?
The variables would be numerous - which medications were used, the dosages given, perhaps the type of birth (vaginal vs. c/s), etc. But overall, my questions is, does medication have a lasting effect on breastfeeding? Do meds disrupt something that makes it harder for a child to latch on? Do meds do something to horomones that would make it harder for milk to come in when its supposed to, resulting in a low supply and discouraging women from waiting it out? Is it possible meds could completely take away a woman's milk supply? Can meds make a woman's body more likely to have thrush?
Or maybe it's just chance. It's just a completely natural thing.
Or maybe it's a little bit of both.
I don't know. And that's that. I DO NOT KNOW. I'm not assuming anything. I'm not saying these are side effects. I'm just curious.
Showing posts with label labor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label labor. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Birth Reflection
Now that it's been almost a month I have had some time to reflect on my birth experience.
PAIN: Did it hurt? Well...as my brother likes to say, Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes. It hurt. In fact, it was the MOST painful thing I have ever physically experienced. I actually NEVER shed a single tear either. Seriosuly. Not one tear. Until afterwards and those were tears of joy, so they don't count. There is a big difference between pain and suffering and I never suffered. I did contemplate drugs...for about 5 minutes...but NEVER the epidural. I was never going to have a needle stuck in my back. Ever. Even when my child's head was at the peak of crowning and it burned like a ring of fire and I wanted to die! I obviously did NOT decide to have any drugs because an internal check revealed I was 9cm +3 station and I was allowed to start pushing! As soon as her head was out, all the pain went away!
I pushed for less than 2 hours, which was amazing! Everyone birth experience is very different and everyone has a different sort of pain tolerance. But I did not find it to be a traumatizing experience or nearly as horrible as some women have described. Perhaps it depends on your mental, physical and emtional preparation. I will surely be doing natural labor for my future children!
HOSPITAL: I obviosuly did not get my water birth. I did not get to birth at the birth center. I birthed at the hospital. Am I disappointed? Actually, no. I had a successful, beautiful and natural birth and that is what really matters to me. Water would've been a plus, but I think the hot shower made up for it! I also like to think that while I birthed in a hospital, I did not have a "hospital birth." I did not have a doctor in the room, there were no funky instruments used to get my child out, there was no unnecessary medical intervention, no one being super pushy and annoying, etc. My birth team was exactly what I would have had at the birth center - my husband, my midwife, and a nurse. The only difference was, my nurse was someone who worked at the hospital full-time. I was, however, VERY LUCKY in that my nurse ALSO worked at the birth center part-time AND her mom is one of the lactation consultants at the birth center. My nurse tries to get as many as the birth center transfers as possible in order to allow for as many natural births as possible. Many of the other nurses are not nearly as understanding about natural birth/birth center transfers as she is.
So, I think the reason I'm not upset about my hospital transfer is because it didn't end up being all that different than I wanted. We were there to monitor Autumn more closely and that was all that was important.
OTHER RANDOMNESS: the stretchy gauze underwear should be sold in all department stores and become part of every women's underwear drawer because those things are the most fantastic and comfortable underwear i've ever worn and I never ever wanted to go back to my other stuff, but alas...the time for wearing the stretchy gauze underwear only lasts so long:o(
PAIN: Did it hurt? Well...as my brother likes to say, Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes. It hurt. In fact, it was the MOST painful thing I have ever physically experienced. I actually NEVER shed a single tear either. Seriosuly. Not one tear. Until afterwards and those were tears of joy, so they don't count. There is a big difference between pain and suffering and I never suffered. I did contemplate drugs...for about 5 minutes...but NEVER the epidural. I was never going to have a needle stuck in my back. Ever. Even when my child's head was at the peak of crowning and it burned like a ring of fire and I wanted to die! I obviously did NOT decide to have any drugs because an internal check revealed I was 9cm +3 station and I was allowed to start pushing! As soon as her head was out, all the pain went away!
I pushed for less than 2 hours, which was amazing! Everyone birth experience is very different and everyone has a different sort of pain tolerance. But I did not find it to be a traumatizing experience or nearly as horrible as some women have described. Perhaps it depends on your mental, physical and emtional preparation. I will surely be doing natural labor for my future children!
HOSPITAL: I obviosuly did not get my water birth. I did not get to birth at the birth center. I birthed at the hospital. Am I disappointed? Actually, no. I had a successful, beautiful and natural birth and that is what really matters to me. Water would've been a plus, but I think the hot shower made up for it! I also like to think that while I birthed in a hospital, I did not have a "hospital birth." I did not have a doctor in the room, there were no funky instruments used to get my child out, there was no unnecessary medical intervention, no one being super pushy and annoying, etc. My birth team was exactly what I would have had at the birth center - my husband, my midwife, and a nurse. The only difference was, my nurse was someone who worked at the hospital full-time. I was, however, VERY LUCKY in that my nurse ALSO worked at the birth center part-time AND her mom is one of the lactation consultants at the birth center. My nurse tries to get as many as the birth center transfers as possible in order to allow for as many natural births as possible. Many of the other nurses are not nearly as understanding about natural birth/birth center transfers as she is.
So, I think the reason I'm not upset about my hospital transfer is because it didn't end up being all that different than I wanted. We were there to monitor Autumn more closely and that was all that was important.
OTHER RANDOMNESS: the stretchy gauze underwear should be sold in all department stores and become part of every women's underwear drawer because those things are the most fantastic and comfortable underwear i've ever worn and I never ever wanted to go back to my other stuff, but alas...the time for wearing the stretchy gauze underwear only lasts so long:o(
Friday, February 19, 2010
Birth Story (very loooong!)
Got your popcorn & soda? Good! Because this is going to be a pretty long story!
6:30pm Monday (2/8) - I had JUST left work. Rob (boss-man) had come home that night since Ann had something work related to be at. He had given me "permission" to go ahead and have the baby "whenever!" because the grandparents were on their way back to the state, the mom's comferences were now over and some sense of normalcy was returning to the home where my need to be there was not urgent. So, I'm a few blocks away from the house and all of a sudden I felt three significant GUSHES of fluid. I'd been having leakage, which is normal, but this was entirely different! And I thought, "If this isn't my water breaking, I don't know what else it could be!" I had a feeling we'd be having a baby very soon. I called Rob to tell him that my daughter apparently listened to our coversation and decided she wanted to come out within the next day - I was likely not going to be at work the following day (and THAT is what you get for telling a pregnant woman she can go into labor!). I called Shawn, who was down the street from our house. He said he'd meet me at home. I called Boo who was just as ecstatic as I was. AND I called the birth center. Sarah was on-call. She instructed us to eat a decent dinner and call back by 8pm, about an hour later, and we'd make up a "plan."
We eat spaghetti. We went for a walk around the block - it was COLD! Shawn showered. Meanwhile I had had a few more significant gushes. My fluid was clear. None of my contractions were timeable and felt nothing more than my usual Braxton Hicks.
We called Sarah back at 8. We made a plan to meet at the birth center at 930 to be monitored. Shawn drove. On the way there I had maybe 3 contractions I could time at about 10 minutes apart, which is still very early in labor. We arrive and I get a dose of anti-biotics for my Group B Strep. That took about 20 minutes. They monitored Autumn to see if she would do some "tricks" - basically, that her heart rate would go up by about 10-15 beats per minute during my contractions. It took her awhile and she was kind of lazy about it, but she finally did enough that Sarah was happy. Because I was Strep B positive, she said she would NOT do an internal check because of risk for infection. Also, they generally like to see me in ACTIVE labor within 12 hours and have the baby within 24 hours. She sent us away with a shopping list: 4oz of castor oil, ice cream, & peanut butter cups. And rest! If I was not in active labor by 4am, I was to miz 2 oz of castor oil with 1 cup of ice cream and chase it with a peanut butter cup. And we were to arrive back at the birth center between 6-7am.
Not much had been happening in regards to contractions. Oh, and while at the birth center they had checked my undies - which I hadn't leaked in awhile - to test for amniotic fluid and it came up negative. So on the way home I was like, "Did my water really break? Or am I stupid and this is a total bust and I'm wasting everyone's time?" I was second-guessing myself completely. Then we got to Walgreens, picked up our shopping list, and while we were there ANOTHER 2 gushes came and went. I was SURE that this was a sign I was having a baby. We checked out, ran to Cookout for food because Shawn was hungry, and got home about 1145pm. Sarah called just as we walked in the door and now SHE was second-guessing that my water broke because she had looked at my chart and saw that I had questions about leaking the week before. But I told her that this was definitely a different feeling and that it had just happened again while we were at the store. She said that she believed me, she was okay with everything and we were to follow the plan.
I went to bed at 12am and woke up at 3:30am. No sign of active labor. I drank the castor oil milkshake - was it yummy? Absolutely not. Was it awful? Not really. I thought of it as a really gross protein shake for dieting that I just had to drink once and get it over with...and then I chased it with the peanut butter cup to get rid of the texture in my mouth.
Nothing happened. Well...about 20 minutes later I had some tummy rumbles and hit the bathroom, but it wasn't explosive or anything and afterwards I felt fine. Not even hard line contractions. I woke Shawn up at 5am CRYING because I thought everything was a waste of time and I was stupid and I was going to feel so embarrassed walking back into the birth center where they'd tell me I was NOT in labor:o( Shawn reassured me that I knew my body, my water HAD broken, and we were having a baby soon. He was exhausted and that's not a good combination with driving, so because I felt absolutely nothing going on with me, I drove.
Yes, I drove.
And about half way there I started getting some significant menstrual like cramping going on. While driving. Surprisingly, though, I felt very much in control. And it wasn't until we hit the birth center that the cramping was so bad Shawn had to help me out of the car! We got there at 630am. I spent the first 30 minutes in the bathroom trying to get rid of cramping that was a result of the castor oil. And then...
POP! Holy Niagra Falls!!!! I gushed fluid for almost a straight 20 minutes! My water had officially ruptured! When I felt a little better I got into the bed. I received another dose of antibiotics. Autumn's heart rate was high - PROBLEM ONE. So they gave me more IV fluid, too, to hydrate me. After another 30 mins I really needed to pee, so I asked Shawn to help me up from the bed and as he did I felt this flowing water from below me that I couldn't stop. I FREAKED OUT! SHAWN...help me up! Get me to the bathroom!
I was soaked! You know the movie Coneheads when her water breaks and floods the place? That was me! Somewhat embarrassed, but laughing hysterically at what had just happened. It was all clear, so that was a good sign. And they checked her heartrate afterwards and it was back down to normal - apparently she just wanted some more room, so the absence of all that fluid made her happy. I showered afterwards because I felt gross. By this time the menstrual cramps from the castor oil had subsided and the result - which is expected from the castor oil treatment - was the start of regular contractions.
After the shower things were just chill. I'd have contractions. Her heartrate went a little high again. Sarah went off duty and Leigh-Ann came on duty, this was around 730-8am. During contractions I enjoyed squatting a lot and leaning up against the bed. Shawn remembered from birth class that he could come behind me and squat with me and then pull my belly up during contractions and this helped a lot! At one point I was getting through contractions by rocking in a rocking chair. Leigh-Ann said she wanted me to go upstairs, if I could, to have the baby be monitored on the machines. I said, "Ok, I'm just enjoying rocking right now, it's really helping, give me a minute." So what did they do? I get upstairs and they had set up a rocking chair with the machine in the LIBRARY! Which also happened to the be there small staff room where they all get their morning coffee and breakfast. And here I am with a towel around my waist and robe around my top and nekid everywhere else...and did I care?! Nope! I had no modesty!!!! It went out the window when contraction hit, people! If they didn't care - I didn't care.
Good news was that PROBLEM ONE (high heartrate) was normal. Now we had PROBLEM TWO - she wasn't doing the "trick" where her heartrate was jumping during a contraction. She was sleeping through my contractions - lazy child! They tried to wake her up by honking this bicycle horn at my belly and it did nothing. So what did we do?
Me: "Shawn...don't you have your IPOD?"
Shawn: "Yea...what do you want me to do? Play her some Slayer?"
Me: "YES!"
Leigh-Ann: "It's worth a shot!"
So, yea...we played heavy metal into my belly via IPOD headphones and it WORKED! Within 5-10 minutes Leigh-Ann said her heartrate had done the jumping she wanted done. PROBLEM TWO was solved! Also, Leigh-Ann finally wanted to do an internal check - I was 3cm and +2 station (she was already pretty darn low!). This was around, maybe 10-11am. With all the issues solved we went back downstairs to labor, Leigh-Ann was sure we could have the baby at the birth center, everything was OK!
We got back downstairs and I hit the bathroom again. I was int hebathroom I'd say 80-90% of the time I had contractions. It helped pass a lot more fluid and I was just comfy there. All of a sudden I noticed some "green show" on my pads. Merconium. DAMMIT! Leigh-Ann said that "tipped the scales" and after a talk with Maureen, another midwife, the decision was to go to the hospital for better monitoring. They just needed to make sure the baby was okay and honestly, I didn't care where I birthed - I just wanted my baby to be ok.
We left between 11a-12p (I think). The car ride was the worst.five.minute.ride.ever.
Jessie was our nurse - she also happens to be the daughter of a woman who works at the birth center - so that was comforting that she knew how we hoped our birth would go and she wouldn't be a pushy hospital person. We were only in the room a short while before I hopped into the shower. I took a LONG HOT HOT HOT shower - for at least an hour. I would stand during my contractions. squat as they faded and sit while they were gone. I was just starting to think to myself, "How much more can I take? Will I ask for pain meds? Can I finish this out?" I hopped out of the shower and it was just Leigh-Ann and I in the room. She asked me, "If you ask for meds, what do you want me to tell you? Do you want me to say 'no' or try to talk you out of it? Or do you want me to give them to you?" I asked what my options were: 1) epi - to which I said NO! and 2) Stadol (sp?) which would take the edge off, but I'd still feel it all. I asked to be checked first, before giving an answer, to see where were at. It had only been a couple of hours since I was 3cm, so we weren't expecting a huge change, BUT Leigh-Ann did say, "If you are at 8cm, I'm not giving you anything!"
I was 9cm +3 station! HA! So much for even the idea of drugs. Not happening. Also, since I was far enough along and the baby was so low she gave me permission to start bearing down if it felt better to do so. And I did. I began pushing a little after 1:30pm!
Position 1 - I was flat on my back. It worked for awhile.
Position 2 - Leigh-Ann raised the head of teh bed so I was in a more squat-like position. It worked a little better.
You really do have trouble figuring out how to push. Leigh-Ann would actually stick a few fingers "down there" and tell me to push her fingers out, which helped A LOT! It was as if X marked the spot! Also, I had a tendency to give out high pitched yelling screams, which weren't helping. Leigh-Ann said I either had to hold my breath and bear down or do low grunting screams. I can't grunt for my life, so holdin my breath and bearing down worked best. My contrations were at least 3, sometimes 4, right on top of one another before getting a break. This was very exhausting. Sometime during this a student knocked on the door and asked if she could come in to help/watch. I yelled "NO!" Generally I'm all for students. Education is awesome! However, I was already too far into pushing and I was comfortable with my birth team that I didn't want anyone else in the room or any other help. So we stuck with my three amigos - Shawn, Leigh-Ann, and Jessie.
Position 3 - Somehow I found the strength to turn around and get on my hands and knees up against the back of the bed. This position was probably the first in which I could feel I was moving her down. I was really starting to understand a GOOD PUSH and there were a few times that pushing did not, I repeat DID NOT hurt, but felt good. It was like a relief to get her moving down. I did not have many of those pushes, but when they did happen I thought to myself, "That really felt pretty good! I want to do one of those again!"
Position 4 - Leigh-Ann asked for the squat bar to be put across the bottom of the bed. I was SO tired and I hurt so much I told her I couldn't do it. I couldn't move myself to the edge of the bed, I couldn't pull myself up, and I certainly could hold myself up while bearing down. What happened? I did it all. It didn't work for long. We were having trouble getting her under my pelvic bone.
Position 5 - The head of the bed was still raised and we played tug-of-war! This was the BEST THING EVER! Leigh-Ann took a shoot and knotted both sides. Shawn & Jessie each took a leg to push back when I had a contraction. During the contraction I would hold my breath, bear down, and pull as hard as I could on the blanket while Leigh-Ann pulled the other side. This is when we were finally able to start seeing the head crown. They asked if I wanted the mirror and I said no. I really thought it would freak me out. Also, because my contractions were on top of one another and I only got a short, MAYBE 45sec-1min break, I was actually falling asleep in about 10 secs and then waking up again with the contractions.
I kept telling Shawn, "I'm so tired," "I want her to come out," "I can't do this," etc. But everyone kept reassuring me and in the back of my head I kept telling myself, "Just get her head out and you'll be done. The sooner her head it out it will all be easy after that. Push hard or this is going to take even longer!"
Position 6 - Things were progressing with every push, but we could not get her under my pelvic bone fast enough. They laid the bed almost all the way down again. I know they say this is the worst position to be in because it doesn't open up your pelvis enough, but it actually worked best for me. However, the last 20 minutes I do distinctly remember hearing a POP and asking "What was that?" but no one had heard it. More on that later...
The more I pushed, the more her head crowned. The finally told me I needed to see it and brought out the mirror. It did not freak me out. It really helped. Of course, when we got the point where her head was just sitting there stretching my vagina and it HURT, it was very hard to relax when I wasn't having a contraction. Seeing her head there I just wanted to keep pushing until she was out!
Due to the merconium at the birth center, NICU had been placed on-call. Leigh-Ann had been debating having them come in or not - she did not want other people in the room if it was unnecessary. Throughout 99% of my pushing I had had nothing but clear fluid, which was great. But near the end I had some more color and Leigh-Ann said she'd scold herself if she didn't bring NICU in the room - after all, the baby's safety was the whole reason we'd come to the hospital.
NICU arrive maybe the last 5-10 mins of my pushing. I was told that as long as the baby came out pink and crying and okay that I would get her immediately and NICU would leave asap. The women with NICU were very supportive - I could see them all in the room and made eye contact with each and every one of them, but it didn't bother me at all.
Then, finally, at 3:30pm she was born. Autumn was fine and came straight to my belly. She had had her hand up near her face & the cord was wrapped around her hand/face combo once - I really believe that her hand being between her face and the cord quite possibly saved us from any real emergency! Shawn said they threw her like a fish on top of me! She was making noises, but not screaming, so they wiped her down and sunctioned her while she was on my chest until they were happy with a single good cry. I delivered the placenta very quickly after that. I was a hysterical mess. I had never missed my Mom so much before. I told Autumn that her Grandma would have thought she was absolutely beautiful. Shawn was a crying mess, too. He was absolutely wonderful and supportive the entire labor. I could not imagine having to go through it without him. He was so strong and provided me with all the emotional support I needed.
After all was said and done NICU had to take her across the room for just a hot second - I guess it's protocol that if they're called in they have to do a few small checks on her. That's when we found out her weight was 9 lbs 4 oz. I had a small tear - not even my perinium. It was actually off to the side and Leigh-Ann gave me a local and stitched me up. Shawn said I should be thankful I didn't see what she was doing because the needle was HUGE and she was really sticking me hard, but all I could feel was pinches. I guess it doesn't really matter after you've just pushed out a 9lb baby! I do believe I received some pitocin to help with bleeding, but they were very please with my uterus getting firm and contracting right away, so it wasn't a major concern. The viatmin K shot was held off until I was breastfeeding her a little while later. We declined the Hep B & the eye goop.
Afterwards, well - phone calls, visitors, checkups from the nurses and doctors, etc. Our midwife, Sarah, came back in the morning to check in on us. She said she would fill out the paperwork to discharge us and we were leaving the hospital noon the next day.
Official stats: Autumn Dawn was born 3:30pm, Tuesday February 9, 2010. 9 lbs 4 oz, 21.25 in long, 13.5 in head cir. She passed her hearing! She breastfeeds like a champ! She sleeps awesome! And she's absolutely perfect<3
6:30pm Monday (2/8) - I had JUST left work. Rob (boss-man) had come home that night since Ann had something work related to be at. He had given me "permission" to go ahead and have the baby "whenever!" because the grandparents were on their way back to the state, the mom's comferences were now over and some sense of normalcy was returning to the home where my need to be there was not urgent. So, I'm a few blocks away from the house and all of a sudden I felt three significant GUSHES of fluid. I'd been having leakage, which is normal, but this was entirely different! And I thought, "If this isn't my water breaking, I don't know what else it could be!" I had a feeling we'd be having a baby very soon. I called Rob to tell him that my daughter apparently listened to our coversation and decided she wanted to come out within the next day - I was likely not going to be at work the following day (and THAT is what you get for telling a pregnant woman she can go into labor!). I called Shawn, who was down the street from our house. He said he'd meet me at home. I called Boo who was just as ecstatic as I was. AND I called the birth center. Sarah was on-call. She instructed us to eat a decent dinner and call back by 8pm, about an hour later, and we'd make up a "plan."
We eat spaghetti. We went for a walk around the block - it was COLD! Shawn showered. Meanwhile I had had a few more significant gushes. My fluid was clear. None of my contractions were timeable and felt nothing more than my usual Braxton Hicks.
We called Sarah back at 8. We made a plan to meet at the birth center at 930 to be monitored. Shawn drove. On the way there I had maybe 3 contractions I could time at about 10 minutes apart, which is still very early in labor. We arrive and I get a dose of anti-biotics for my Group B Strep. That took about 20 minutes. They monitored Autumn to see if she would do some "tricks" - basically, that her heart rate would go up by about 10-15 beats per minute during my contractions. It took her awhile and she was kind of lazy about it, but she finally did enough that Sarah was happy. Because I was Strep B positive, she said she would NOT do an internal check because of risk for infection. Also, they generally like to see me in ACTIVE labor within 12 hours and have the baby within 24 hours. She sent us away with a shopping list: 4oz of castor oil, ice cream, & peanut butter cups. And rest! If I was not in active labor by 4am, I was to miz 2 oz of castor oil with 1 cup of ice cream and chase it with a peanut butter cup. And we were to arrive back at the birth center between 6-7am.
Not much had been happening in regards to contractions. Oh, and while at the birth center they had checked my undies - which I hadn't leaked in awhile - to test for amniotic fluid and it came up negative. So on the way home I was like, "Did my water really break? Or am I stupid and this is a total bust and I'm wasting everyone's time?" I was second-guessing myself completely. Then we got to Walgreens, picked up our shopping list, and while we were there ANOTHER 2 gushes came and went. I was SURE that this was a sign I was having a baby. We checked out, ran to Cookout for food because Shawn was hungry, and got home about 1145pm. Sarah called just as we walked in the door and now SHE was second-guessing that my water broke because she had looked at my chart and saw that I had questions about leaking the week before. But I told her that this was definitely a different feeling and that it had just happened again while we were at the store. She said that she believed me, she was okay with everything and we were to follow the plan.
I went to bed at 12am and woke up at 3:30am. No sign of active labor. I drank the castor oil milkshake - was it yummy? Absolutely not. Was it awful? Not really. I thought of it as a really gross protein shake for dieting that I just had to drink once and get it over with...and then I chased it with the peanut butter cup to get rid of the texture in my mouth.
Nothing happened. Well...about 20 minutes later I had some tummy rumbles and hit the bathroom, but it wasn't explosive or anything and afterwards I felt fine. Not even hard line contractions. I woke Shawn up at 5am CRYING because I thought everything was a waste of time and I was stupid and I was going to feel so embarrassed walking back into the birth center where they'd tell me I was NOT in labor:o( Shawn reassured me that I knew my body, my water HAD broken, and we were having a baby soon. He was exhausted and that's not a good combination with driving, so because I felt absolutely nothing going on with me, I drove.
Yes, I drove.
And about half way there I started getting some significant menstrual like cramping going on. While driving. Surprisingly, though, I felt very much in control. And it wasn't until we hit the birth center that the cramping was so bad Shawn had to help me out of the car! We got there at 630am. I spent the first 30 minutes in the bathroom trying to get rid of cramping that was a result of the castor oil. And then...
POP! Holy Niagra Falls!!!! I gushed fluid for almost a straight 20 minutes! My water had officially ruptured! When I felt a little better I got into the bed. I received another dose of antibiotics. Autumn's heart rate was high - PROBLEM ONE. So they gave me more IV fluid, too, to hydrate me. After another 30 mins I really needed to pee, so I asked Shawn to help me up from the bed and as he did I felt this flowing water from below me that I couldn't stop. I FREAKED OUT! SHAWN...help me up! Get me to the bathroom!
I was soaked! You know the movie Coneheads when her water breaks and floods the place? That was me! Somewhat embarrassed, but laughing hysterically at what had just happened. It was all clear, so that was a good sign. And they checked her heartrate afterwards and it was back down to normal - apparently she just wanted some more room, so the absence of all that fluid made her happy. I showered afterwards because I felt gross. By this time the menstrual cramps from the castor oil had subsided and the result - which is expected from the castor oil treatment - was the start of regular contractions.
After the shower things were just chill. I'd have contractions. Her heartrate went a little high again. Sarah went off duty and Leigh-Ann came on duty, this was around 730-8am. During contractions I enjoyed squatting a lot and leaning up against the bed. Shawn remembered from birth class that he could come behind me and squat with me and then pull my belly up during contractions and this helped a lot! At one point I was getting through contractions by rocking in a rocking chair. Leigh-Ann said she wanted me to go upstairs, if I could, to have the baby be monitored on the machines. I said, "Ok, I'm just enjoying rocking right now, it's really helping, give me a minute." So what did they do? I get upstairs and they had set up a rocking chair with the machine in the LIBRARY! Which also happened to the be there small staff room where they all get their morning coffee and breakfast. And here I am with a towel around my waist and robe around my top and nekid everywhere else...and did I care?! Nope! I had no modesty!!!! It went out the window when contraction hit, people! If they didn't care - I didn't care.
Good news was that PROBLEM ONE (high heartrate) was normal. Now we had PROBLEM TWO - she wasn't doing the "trick" where her heartrate was jumping during a contraction. She was sleeping through my contractions - lazy child! They tried to wake her up by honking this bicycle horn at my belly and it did nothing. So what did we do?
Me: "Shawn...don't you have your IPOD?"
Shawn: "Yea...what do you want me to do? Play her some Slayer?"
Me: "YES!"
Leigh-Ann: "It's worth a shot!"
So, yea...we played heavy metal into my belly via IPOD headphones and it WORKED! Within 5-10 minutes Leigh-Ann said her heartrate had done the jumping she wanted done. PROBLEM TWO was solved! Also, Leigh-Ann finally wanted to do an internal check - I was 3cm and +2 station (she was already pretty darn low!). This was around, maybe 10-11am. With all the issues solved we went back downstairs to labor, Leigh-Ann was sure we could have the baby at the birth center, everything was OK!
We got back downstairs and I hit the bathroom again. I was int hebathroom I'd say 80-90% of the time I had contractions. It helped pass a lot more fluid and I was just comfy there. All of a sudden I noticed some "green show" on my pads. Merconium. DAMMIT! Leigh-Ann said that "tipped the scales" and after a talk with Maureen, another midwife, the decision was to go to the hospital for better monitoring. They just needed to make sure the baby was okay and honestly, I didn't care where I birthed - I just wanted my baby to be ok.
We left between 11a-12p (I think). The car ride was the worst.five.minute.ride.ever.
Jessie was our nurse - she also happens to be the daughter of a woman who works at the birth center - so that was comforting that she knew how we hoped our birth would go and she wouldn't be a pushy hospital person. We were only in the room a short while before I hopped into the shower. I took a LONG HOT HOT HOT shower - for at least an hour. I would stand during my contractions. squat as they faded and sit while they were gone. I was just starting to think to myself, "How much more can I take? Will I ask for pain meds? Can I finish this out?" I hopped out of the shower and it was just Leigh-Ann and I in the room. She asked me, "If you ask for meds, what do you want me to tell you? Do you want me to say 'no' or try to talk you out of it? Or do you want me to give them to you?" I asked what my options were: 1) epi - to which I said NO! and 2) Stadol (sp?) which would take the edge off, but I'd still feel it all. I asked to be checked first, before giving an answer, to see where were at. It had only been a couple of hours since I was 3cm, so we weren't expecting a huge change, BUT Leigh-Ann did say, "If you are at 8cm, I'm not giving you anything!"
I was 9cm +3 station! HA! So much for even the idea of drugs. Not happening. Also, since I was far enough along and the baby was so low she gave me permission to start bearing down if it felt better to do so. And I did. I began pushing a little after 1:30pm!
Position 1 - I was flat on my back. It worked for awhile.
Position 2 - Leigh-Ann raised the head of teh bed so I was in a more squat-like position. It worked a little better.
You really do have trouble figuring out how to push. Leigh-Ann would actually stick a few fingers "down there" and tell me to push her fingers out, which helped A LOT! It was as if X marked the spot! Also, I had a tendency to give out high pitched yelling screams, which weren't helping. Leigh-Ann said I either had to hold my breath and bear down or do low grunting screams. I can't grunt for my life, so holdin my breath and bearing down worked best. My contrations were at least 3, sometimes 4, right on top of one another before getting a break. This was very exhausting. Sometime during this a student knocked on the door and asked if she could come in to help/watch. I yelled "NO!" Generally I'm all for students. Education is awesome! However, I was already too far into pushing and I was comfortable with my birth team that I didn't want anyone else in the room or any other help. So we stuck with my three amigos - Shawn, Leigh-Ann, and Jessie.
Position 3 - Somehow I found the strength to turn around and get on my hands and knees up against the back of the bed. This position was probably the first in which I could feel I was moving her down. I was really starting to understand a GOOD PUSH and there were a few times that pushing did not, I repeat DID NOT hurt, but felt good. It was like a relief to get her moving down. I did not have many of those pushes, but when they did happen I thought to myself, "That really felt pretty good! I want to do one of those again!"
Position 4 - Leigh-Ann asked for the squat bar to be put across the bottom of the bed. I was SO tired and I hurt so much I told her I couldn't do it. I couldn't move myself to the edge of the bed, I couldn't pull myself up, and I certainly could hold myself up while bearing down. What happened? I did it all. It didn't work for long. We were having trouble getting her under my pelvic bone.
Position 5 - The head of the bed was still raised and we played tug-of-war! This was the BEST THING EVER! Leigh-Ann took a shoot and knotted both sides. Shawn & Jessie each took a leg to push back when I had a contraction. During the contraction I would hold my breath, bear down, and pull as hard as I could on the blanket while Leigh-Ann pulled the other side. This is when we were finally able to start seeing the head crown. They asked if I wanted the mirror and I said no. I really thought it would freak me out. Also, because my contractions were on top of one another and I only got a short, MAYBE 45sec-1min break, I was actually falling asleep in about 10 secs and then waking up again with the contractions.
I kept telling Shawn, "I'm so tired," "I want her to come out," "I can't do this," etc. But everyone kept reassuring me and in the back of my head I kept telling myself, "Just get her head out and you'll be done. The sooner her head it out it will all be easy after that. Push hard or this is going to take even longer!"
Position 6 - Things were progressing with every push, but we could not get her under my pelvic bone fast enough. They laid the bed almost all the way down again. I know they say this is the worst position to be in because it doesn't open up your pelvis enough, but it actually worked best for me. However, the last 20 minutes I do distinctly remember hearing a POP and asking "What was that?" but no one had heard it. More on that later...
The more I pushed, the more her head crowned. The finally told me I needed to see it and brought out the mirror. It did not freak me out. It really helped. Of course, when we got the point where her head was just sitting there stretching my vagina and it HURT, it was very hard to relax when I wasn't having a contraction. Seeing her head there I just wanted to keep pushing until she was out!
Due to the merconium at the birth center, NICU had been placed on-call. Leigh-Ann had been debating having them come in or not - she did not want other people in the room if it was unnecessary. Throughout 99% of my pushing I had had nothing but clear fluid, which was great. But near the end I had some more color and Leigh-Ann said she'd scold herself if she didn't bring NICU in the room - after all, the baby's safety was the whole reason we'd come to the hospital.
NICU arrive maybe the last 5-10 mins of my pushing. I was told that as long as the baby came out pink and crying and okay that I would get her immediately and NICU would leave asap. The women with NICU were very supportive - I could see them all in the room and made eye contact with each and every one of them, but it didn't bother me at all.
Then, finally, at 3:30pm she was born. Autumn was fine and came straight to my belly. She had had her hand up near her face & the cord was wrapped around her hand/face combo once - I really believe that her hand being between her face and the cord quite possibly saved us from any real emergency! Shawn said they threw her like a fish on top of me! She was making noises, but not screaming, so they wiped her down and sunctioned her while she was on my chest until they were happy with a single good cry. I delivered the placenta very quickly after that. I was a hysterical mess. I had never missed my Mom so much before. I told Autumn that her Grandma would have thought she was absolutely beautiful. Shawn was a crying mess, too. He was absolutely wonderful and supportive the entire labor. I could not imagine having to go through it without him. He was so strong and provided me with all the emotional support I needed.
After all was said and done NICU had to take her across the room for just a hot second - I guess it's protocol that if they're called in they have to do a few small checks on her. That's when we found out her weight was 9 lbs 4 oz. I had a small tear - not even my perinium. It was actually off to the side and Leigh-Ann gave me a local and stitched me up. Shawn said I should be thankful I didn't see what she was doing because the needle was HUGE and she was really sticking me hard, but all I could feel was pinches. I guess it doesn't really matter after you've just pushed out a 9lb baby! I do believe I received some pitocin to help with bleeding, but they were very please with my uterus getting firm and contracting right away, so it wasn't a major concern. The viatmin K shot was held off until I was breastfeeding her a little while later. We declined the Hep B & the eye goop.
Afterwards, well - phone calls, visitors, checkups from the nurses and doctors, etc. Our midwife, Sarah, came back in the morning to check in on us. She said she would fill out the paperwork to discharge us and we were leaving the hospital noon the next day.
Official stats: Autumn Dawn was born 3:30pm, Tuesday February 9, 2010. 9 lbs 4 oz, 21.25 in long, 13.5 in head cir. She passed her hearing! She breastfeeds like a champ! She sleeps awesome! And she's absolutely perfect<3
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