LOL! I'm laughing because it is funny. And...if I wasn't laughing I might cry. The reality is, I really could care less that they don't fit. Doesn't bother me in the least. My weight tells the real story, but my body is shaped differently than before and for a very good reason:o) It's the fact that we're lacking in funds right now and clothes shopping is NOT very high on the list. I plan on hitting an awesome consignment store in the area asap, but that still might not happen for a few weeks. So alas...I will walk around NAKED until then!!! Ok, maybe not.
Moving on...last week sucked. It was a hard week for me mentally and when my brain goes haywire so do my horomones. Or maybe it's the other way around. I don't even think the best scientists know what triggers what. Anyway...so last week sucked. Weekend was AWESOME! Shawn and I spent a lot of quality time with friends, family, and each other. It was magnificent. And I love spending so much time together to watch him be Daddy. That's my favorite thing...watching Shawn be Daddy. It's a role - just like brother, son, uncle, husband, friends -now he's also Daddy. And it's beautiful!
Fast forward to today...I had a meeting at 11am. Sunday night I mentioned having to make sure all was ready to go in the morning so I could get myself and Autumn there on time. Shawn says to leave her home with him. I've left her home with him for a few hours, but all day?! Let me just say that I have FULL confidence in my husband. I trust him 10000% percent in his abilities to care for our child. But was I ready to do a whole day without her? I said ok.
And the day went fine! Autumn slept late because she had had ad HORRID day before (we're not going into that...) and so I got myself ready. Fed her at 9am. I left at 10am. My meeting started early and went til a little after 11am. I called - all was well:o) I went to work. I got some paperwork done for bowling, I took care of my munchkin-girl, called home ONCE at 3:30pm and all was well, took munchkin-girl and munchkin-boy of "mine" to the library, took them home, read books, played and actually got out of work a little early at 5:30pm. Home by 6pm.
While it was very nice to not have a child attached to me (and my boobs) all day, I did miss Autumn a lot. BUT, she had an AWESOME day with Daddy! She went for a long walk, visited with neighbors, played with a 1yr old little girl, took good naps, ate good, and has no fussiness!
What does this tell me? I need to relax. I need to remind myself that Shawn IS capable - just like I knew he would be - and sometimes I need to let him do a little more so that I can hold onto my sanity. I need my "me" time in order to keep being ME! I've thought about some stuff I'd like to do and my goal is to try a few things to week - a little at a time - to see what works for us:
~do some personal reading - not school related, baby related, internet related. Nope. Pick a book & take a bath or close the bedroom door and read! Even if it's only for 15 mins an evening.
~workout. I really need to find a time I can do this - even if it means getting out of bed, which is SO hard. I just need to start doing something at home forlike 20 mins a day. We'll see how many times it gets done this week and we'll go from there.
~cook. I do miss making dinner.
So those are three small goals. Very small. Because when a little one enters into your life, no matter how much she "fits", the very small goals still manage to end up being large goals. So let's see how we manage these and then we'll discuss baking cupcakes from scratch, joining a book club, and hitting the gym 4 nights a week:oP