Monday, March 22, 2010

Weighing In - In more ways than one:o)

Tomorrow's MY 6 week checkup. With that on my mind and with the events of today I thought I'd blog about some stuff swirling around in my head.

I weigh 141.8 lbs. I am very much ok with this! This weekend I realize that when i found my spring clothes and the rest of my pre-preggo size 9 jeans that..well..see below:oP

LOL! I'm laughing because it is funny. And...if I wasn't laughing I might cry. The reality is, I really could care less that they don't fit. Doesn't bother me in the least. My weight tells the real story, but my body is shaped differently than before and for a very good reason:o) It's the fact that we're lacking in funds right now and clothes shopping is NOT very high on the list. I plan on hitting an awesome consignment store in the area asap, but that still might not happen for a few weeks. So alas...I will walk around NAKED until then!!! Ok, maybe not.

Moving on...last week sucked. It was a hard week for me mentally and when my brain goes haywire so do my horomones. Or maybe it's the other way around. I don't even think the best scientists know what triggers what. last week sucked. Weekend was AWESOME! Shawn and I spent a lot of quality time with friends, family, and each other. It was magnificent. And I love spending so much time together to watch him be Daddy. That's my favorite thing...watching Shawn be Daddy. It's a role - just like brother, son, uncle, husband, friends -now he's also Daddy. And it's beautiful!

Fast forward to today...I had a meeting at 11am. Sunday night I mentioned having to make sure all was ready to go in the morning so I could get myself and Autumn there on time. Shawn says to leave her home with him. I've left her home with him for a few hours, but all day?! Let me just say that I have FULL confidence in my husband. I trust him 10000% percent in his abilities to care for our child. But was I ready to do a whole day without her? I said ok.

And the day went fine! Autumn slept late because she had had ad HORRID day before (we're not going into that...) and so I got myself ready. Fed her at 9am. I left at 10am. My meeting started early and went til a little after 11am. I called - all was well:o) I went to work. I got some paperwork done for bowling, I took care of my munchkin-girl, called home ONCE at 3:30pm and all was well, took munchkin-girl and munchkin-boy of "mine" to the library, took them home, read books, played and actually got out of work a little early at 5:30pm. Home by 6pm.

While it was very nice to not have a child attached to me (and my boobs) all day, I did miss Autumn a lot. BUT, she had an AWESOME day with Daddy! She went for a long walk, visited with neighbors, played with a 1yr old little girl, took good naps, ate good, and has no fussiness!

What does this tell me? I need to relax. I need to remind myself that Shawn IS capable - just like I knew he would be - and sometimes I need to let him do a little more so that I can hold onto my sanity. I need my "me" time in order to keep being ME! I've thought about some stuff I'd like to do and my goal is to try a few things to week - a little at a time - to see what works for us:

~do some personal reading - not school related, baby related, internet related. Nope. Pick a book & take a bath or close the bedroom door and read! Even if it's only for 15 mins an evening.

~workout. I really need to find a time I can do this - even if it means getting out of bed, which is SO hard. I just need to start doing something at home forlike 20 mins a day. We'll see how many times it gets done this week and we'll go from there.

~cook. I do miss making dinner.

So those are three small goals. Very small. Because when a little one enters into your life, no matter how much she "fits", the very small goals still manage to end up being large goals. So let's see how we manage these and then we'll discuss baking cupcakes from scratch, joining a book club, and hitting the gym 4 nights a week:oP

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A little give & take...

The sliding glass back door has been fixed.

I'd like to add to my list:

I want a new wardrobe.

Selfish Moment...

I want my tv fixed in our living room. I want to record and watch my own shows when I'm up at 6 tonight for example...without having to go on a smokey and cold back porch or in my bed...which is a really bad habit to even start plus it's uncomfortable. I want to watch tv WITH my inside. I also think this will help significantly in him smoking less, us spending more quality time together as husband and wife, and all three us spending time together as a family.

I want an elipitcal, treadmill, bike...SOMETHING. I want to be able to hop on a machine for 20 mins and do some cardio without leaving my home. This way I can do it tonight...and I don't have to worry about getting mugged in the pitch black outside. I also don't want to have to hit a gym...even if it's free b/c I'm a guest of someone else or I can go to the school's AWESOME gym. Why? Because who the F has time for that? Who wants to make sure there's enouh milk stashed in the fridge, then get dressed semi-decent because you can't hit a gym in your bra and pj plaid pants, drive to wherever, work out for 30 mins (b/c that's really all you want to do AND you don't have time for much more than that), and head back home to change and get back into the groove of things at the house. Oh, and showering when you first get home? Not gonna happen. Yea...gyms won't be happening til my child probably hits 6 months or so, so I want something at home. Sure...I have a fitness ball and some DVDs which do work me out, but I want CARDIO. Something fast paced to get my blood pumping so that when I'm stressed I can hop onto a machine that will take the edge off.

I want my back porch door fixed or replaced because I just hate that it's a struggle to close every.single.time.

That's it for now. I know they're random, but that's what life is right now. Random.

I think if I HAD a mesntrual cycle right now, I'd be PMSing.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Autumn's First Month! (long)

Autumn is an amazing baby! Already she has quite the personality and we absolute love that about her! Shawn says she's a very serious baby, which she is. She's always thinking - you can just tell! Well...I could ramble on for paragraphs so let me just jot down the quick things I think are worth mentioning:

Stats @ 1 month checkup: 10lbs (75%), 23in long (97%), head circum 15.25in (90%). So, she's tal, skinny & has a big head (probably from everyone telling her how pretty she!) Dr. says she's healthy, happy, looks great, has AWESOME head control, etc. Wonderful news!

Feeding: She eats whenever she wants:o) Generally during the day it's every 2-3 hours & at night it cane be up to 4-6 hours depending on how well she sleeps. She can go from boob to bottle to paci and back again without any confusion or problems. Occasionally, if she's going thru a growth spurt or in the evening during her "witching hour" she will cluster feed. Shawn thoroughly enjoys being able to feed her and our routine usually revolves around me feeding her in the late evening and then Shawn doing a midnight feeding that I sleep through and then I do the early morning feeding. It works out nicely.

Sleeping: She sleeps when she wants to, too! She's like her daddy and thoroughly enjoys sleep - I LOVE IT! I'm not a big stickler on how much she sleeps - too little or too much - because I believe that if a child wants to sleep you let them and when they're tired they will eventually close their eyes! SHe usually goes down for "bed" around 9-10pm and will sleep until 2am, although she's been known to sleep later, which we're hoping will become a trend soon. She will eat and then immediately go back to sleep around 3am and sleep til about 6am. This concludes "bedtime" which is around 8hrs give or take a half hour. Naptimes consist of early morning: 7-9am, afternoon 11am/12pm - 1pm/2pm, and late afternoon 5-530ish. Then she has her "witching hour" from 530-730pm in which she just wants to be held non-stop and fusses because she can:o)

Also, she's pretty versatile when it comes to napping - she naps in the swing, in her bouncy seat, on anyone who is holding her, on the floor, in her carseat, in her hammock, in the front carrier, etc. She's not too picky.

At night she sleeps in the bassinet in our room. I thought about transitioning her at one month, but I'm not ready. I like having her in the room! But she is a tall child and she's outgrowing it fast, not to mention she's a rather loud sleeper (more on that later...)

Playtime: She really does like tummy-time, which is great! She love mirrors. She likes light and fans and music. I try to read to her every day, usually around bedtime and it relaxes us both. She can fidget/shift herself on her playmat rather well. She can manuever herself a quarter of the way around in a circle and when she starts to fuss on her belly she gets mad and can inch forward almost til she's offthe playmat. She really get her head and arms up and her feet push well...we'll have a crawler WAY TOO SOON!

Personality/Quirks: Seriously, who knew you could lay in bed just cracking up with laughter at all the sounds a little baby could make in her bassinet?! She is such a loud sleeper, but it is quite amusing! She sleeps with her hands above her head. When she wakes up she stretches and coos and moans and groans like a little bear cub. Also, when she wakes up, you CANNOT pick her up right away to change a diaper - NO SIR! Wakeup time is her releasing-of-the-gas time;o) She's slow to wake up and it's her own special time to just lay in bed, open her eyes slowly, stretch out her little arms and legs, and release all the pent up gas & poop she's been storing all night. She does not like her carseat unless we're moving - I can't put her in it and then let her sit there for more than 2 mins to pack the car or she'll start screaming. She tries to reach for things like her paci, a toy on her playmat, the ladybug above her bouncy seat, etc.

Things WE have accomplished:
~Breastfed in a car (not moving of course), at the park with about 30+ children and adults around, at Babies R Us in a public room, in a restaraunt, in front of the kids I nanny for without them knowing what was actually going on, and at the bowling alley

~Changed a diaper in the backseat of a car & in the booth of a restaraunt (there was no changing table in the bathroom!)

~Succesfully gone shopping in several stores without disaster falling upon us!

~Been separated for several hours without either of us having a panic attack...although she was in awesome hands with her Daddy taking care of her!

And that's about it. I'm sure there's a TON more, but you're tired of reading and I'm tired of typing. I do have 1 month pictures (yes, Boo - I took the pictures!) but they're not uploaded. It's not 10:30pm, Autumn has been asleep for about 30 mins and I think I'm about to follow suit.

Friday, March 12, 2010

1 Month and Totally Blessed (Mommy's Update)

Deep down all parents have fears about what life will be like once their baby enters into the world. Even deeper down...all parents secretly believe that THEY will have a really good baby and not encounter any of those horrid stories their friends and family have told them will happen when the baby arrives.

I will fully admit that between all my reading, all the blogs/internet chats, and personal intel from friends I fully believed that I would have it all under control. Then, about two weeks prior to Autumn's arrival it hit me - WHAT IF?! What if everything doesn't go right? What if she's born with some kind of problems that we haven't anticipated? What if my milk supply doesn't come in? What if we have trouble breastfeeding? What if going back to work is harder than I anticipate? What if I can't manage school, work, and a baby? What if my husband isn't as helpful as we both think he'll be? WHAT IF?!

A month into it all, I will state for the record, that I am blessed! By no means do I take any of it for granted or believe that it is my own doing. I have a great milk supply, which I'm trying to take advantage of while it lasts by starting a freezer stash because I know it won't last forever. I have a baby that thoroughly enjoys sleep (like her father!), enjoys eating (breastfeeding rocks!), and enjoys tummy time (she'll be crawling by 3 months...beware!). Shawn has been so...amazing. Between house chores, taking care of me when we came home from the hospital and jumping right in with helping take care of the baby there really isn't anything I can say I wish he had done - because he did it all! And my return to work has been really good. The kids love Autumn and because they're such well-behaved children they do a really good job of listening and behaving around Autumn. And school is still going VERY well!!! I think the quick return to "normal" life has saved me from any post partum depression, really. It's hard to find time for myself, which I need to make more of an effort to do, but as Autumn falls into a sleep schedule and the end of another semester draws near, I see some "me" time coming into view.

Actually, I have started some "me" time with working out for about 20 mins/day. While I have dropped almost all of my baby-weight I definitely don't feel myself, yet. Genetics played a huge part in my ability to drop weight - my Mom was the same way - but my body is completely changed. It's contorted and twisted. I've never been one to have a firm body, but I like to feel somewhat in shape. So, I gave myself ONE MONTH to relax, to not care, to chill out and be flabby and happy before I started a work out routine. Now that it's been a month I bought a workout ball and a few DVDs and I'm starting some easy workouts to tone some muscles. It makes me feel good and I think that's what's most important.

So overall, I'm healthy. I adore my baby girl. I'm more in love with my husband than ever before. I love my job - even when it's crazy. I'm just one happy and blessed mommy!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Cloth Diapers Reviews

Cloth diapering is going excellent for us! It's not nearly as hard as people make it out to be (those who refuse to even consider it) and doing some extra laundry is really not the biggest inconvenience (doing our regular laundry is more inconvenient because I'm actually required to fold, put away and hang that stuff! diapers just get thrown in the drawer!)

Also...I know this is everywhere on the internet, but from personal experience I am telling you that the SUN WORKS MIRACLES ON STAINS! Holy cows and horses I could not believe what an hour in the sun could do for stains! People told me that breastfed babies didn't stain the diapers. It's a lie. Or I have crummy detergent. Either way...SUN = Cleanliness. (Hm..."cleanliness is next to godliness" this why the sun was ancient civilazations main god? because it got their diapers super clean? COULD BE!)'s my reviews are some diaper products thus far:

Kissaluvs Size 0 - most recommended diaper for newborns by far, so they tell me. Supposedly fit 5-15 lb babies. My child was born 9 lbs and reached 10 lbs before 1 month. Since day one use of these diapers her little thighs were being squished:o( And she's not a chunky baby! (at least I don't think so) Do I like them? Sure! They are VERY absorbent and we had no leaks...even with some icky poops! They fit her waist fine, but they are just too tight around her legs. My husband really didn't like using them because he thinks they made her uncomfortable - while I think she actually could care less, it did look uncomfy when taking a diaper off her, so I finally gave in and packed them away a few days before she even officially turned one month:o/ I will keep them for the next child, though I am trying to sell off some of the more worn out ones that I purchased for the "emergency" stash, since we never used as many as I thought we might.

Prorap Covers - sucked. I bought 3 used, really cheap. The elastic and velcro was fine. I don't know if their waterproofing abilities go out the window after awhile or what, but we had leaks EVERY TIME I used these covers with her Kissas. I would make sure to wrap the elastic around her legs and snug under the diaper and I still got leaks. The cover themselves actually got soaked around the elastic leading to the transfer of leakage onto her clothes. I had to change her just about every time she had a wet diaper. It sucked.

MothersEase Covers - LOVE! I decided to try these with the Kissas since the Proraps weren't doing the job. Haven't had a single leak. And because they have several size adjustments with snaps I used them with the Kissas, the MothersEase Sandy (XS) and I can still use them for the S size, too!

MothersEase/Sandys (XS) - I am tempted to say that I like these better than the Kissas. Their fit is nicer - more square...if that makes sense? They don't hug the thighs as tight and the fit around the waist is more even. However, the Kissas have a button down the center for when the cord hasn't fallen off yet and the MothersEase don't. Also (I hope I can explain this), but when you snap the Kissas you bring the snaps towards you which seems more natural. MothersEase diapers snap away from you, making coordination with a squirmy baby a little harder. They only fit 6-12 lbs, which means they fit for just about the same amount of time as the Kissas:o( Overall, though, for newborn diapers I really liked them...perhaps more, if not right on par with the Kissas.

MothersEase/Sandys (S) - These fit 8-20 lbs! Obviously these could have fit Autumn right away, but the XS ones are for the nicer fit as newborns, so I thought these would be too loose on her at first. Now that we're moving up in size these fit awesome. Again - the snaps are annoying because they snap away from you, not towards you. But I have NO leaks thus far. They work awesome with the matching covers. And she seems very comfortable!

Kushies - I didn't buy these - they were given as a gift ordered from Babies R Us. They came in a 5-pack (I received two). I LOVE THEM! They are all-in-ones, so they have the waterproof cover already. They're velcro = "dad-friendly" and quicker changes. They have an extra liner inside (con: it isn't removeable, so it will always be a little bulkier than other diapers), but it is SO absorbent and I've had no leaks. Also, it fits from 10-22 lbs, so it's awesome for this "in between" stage Autumn is going through. All my other AIOs don't start until 14 lbs. They take a little longer to dry, but that's because the cover is attached, so it's expected.

Cloth wipes - have not used them on her. I need to get a spray bottle and some "bits" for a cleaner. I HAVE used them as breast pads though:o) When I've run out of my disposables and haven't had time to run to the store, I've used them and they're pretty absorbent! They're multi-tasking products!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Birth Reflection

Now that it's been almost a month I have had some time to reflect on my birth experience.

PAIN: Did it hurt? my brother likes to say, Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes. It hurt. In fact, it was the MOST painful thing I have ever physically experienced. I actually NEVER shed a single tear either. Seriosuly. Not one tear. Until afterwards and those were tears of joy, so they don't count. There is a big difference between pain and suffering and I never suffered. I did contemplate drugs...for about 5 minutes...but NEVER the epidural. I was never going to have a needle stuck in my back. Ever. Even when my child's head was at the peak of crowning and it burned like a ring of fire and I wanted to die! I obviously did NOT decide to have any drugs because an internal check revealed I was 9cm +3 station and I was allowed to start pushing! As soon as her head was out, all the pain went away!

I pushed for less than 2 hours, which was amazing! Everyone birth experience is very different and everyone has a different sort of pain tolerance. But I did not find it to be a traumatizing experience or nearly as horrible as some women have described. Perhaps it depends on your mental, physical and emtional preparation. I will surely be doing natural labor for my future children!

HOSPITAL: I obviosuly did not get my water birth. I did not get to birth at the birth center. I birthed at the hospital. Am I disappointed? Actually, no. I had a successful, beautiful and natural birth and that is what really matters to me. Water would've been a plus, but I think the hot shower made up for it! I also like to think that while I birthed in a hospital, I did not have a "hospital birth." I did not have a doctor in the room, there were no funky instruments used to get my child out, there was no unnecessary medical intervention, no one being super pushy and annoying, etc. My birth team was exactly what I would have had at the birth center - my husband, my midwife, and a nurse. The only difference was, my nurse was someone who worked at the hospital full-time. I was, however, VERY LUCKY in that my nurse ALSO worked at the birth center part-time AND her mom is one of the lactation consultants at the birth center. My nurse tries to get as many as the birth center transfers as possible in order to allow for as many natural births as possible. Many of the other nurses are not nearly as understanding about natural birth/birth center transfers as she is.

So, I think the reason I'm not upset about my hospital transfer is because it didn't end up being all that different than I wanted. We were there to monitor Autumn more closely and that was all that was important.

OTHER RANDOMNESS: the stretchy gauze underwear should be sold in all department stores and become part of every women's underwear drawer because those things are the most fantastic and comfortable underwear i've ever worn and I never ever wanted to go back to my other stuff, but alas...the time for wearing the stretchy gauze underwear only lasts so long:o(